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I sit upon the sun-warmed sand, stare out into the endless blue,

You’re all so far, infinite waters beyond my sight. Your land a hazy memory behind my tired eyes. I sit and remember, as the day goes on, thinking how you want me, as I want you too.

Yet ocean divides as my tears begin to fall. An aching reminder of the distance between us.

My mind recalls the shape of your face,

your voice, your smile, your lit up eyes.

Oh special friends, oh dear ones. Can my heart stop breaking every time I recall how good we were as friends? How loyal, how dear, how close and sweet..

As I move towards the shade, I glance at my nest, built to take me in its arms, to keep from all harm. There lies my sheet, my tattered robe, to serve as warmth throughout the night.

But now I throw away this cloth.

This blanket that I held so close, violently pushed away as loneliness befalls my bed – my silent, empty nest among the ruins of this lonely isle.

How often we would share a hug, a laugh, a kiss, a smile? How often we would sit, bottle between us, passion soaking our lives as we moved from fun to the next, even as our future loomed ahead and woes sat at our doorstep?

All alone, feeling unwanted and yet wanted by those I can not touch. They search for me but will they find, this broken heart of mine?

My love takes flight upon white sails, fighting through waves of storms and cracking thunder to join your shores once more.

I sing from my beach, stranded among my hopes and dreams, which took me oh so far. Having weathered those seas before, I ache to go back once more. My love is far ahead, pushing through the darkness if only to hold you one more time. Could my ballads bring you further? Might my words fuel on your hope?

Fight on, dear love, fight on.

I think of that time, when we held hands as we slept. A moment of true warmth in a friendship so strained by distance. I miss you, each and every one of you. I think of the good, I willfully forget the bad. I dismiss those reasons I had, which separated us where opportunity might have been found. Yet I regret nothing, but that I am so far from what could have been.

Stop handing me the impossible, oh cruel cruel fate of mine. Within reach, yet always beyond my ability to act upon. An endless teasing of wishes and desires, of comfort and love. I try so hard at every turn, determination feeding my resilience, in a cycle that threatens to break its fragile circle.

Confidence shook, doubt spreading like the waves over this beach, finding every pocket, ever hole. You twist my mind from right to left, use my thoughts against me and memories as the food of my dark dreams.

Kiss me, oh dream of mine, as you hold me, tenderly shredding my peaceful sleep.

Kiss me, as you prey upon my depths, so I might thrash and fall from sleep.

Kiss me, and make them reality, even as I wake to find you gone, my happiness within your grasp, unyielding in your steel resolve

to bring my truth towards the light:

I’ll never leave this island, I’m all alone.. you’re gone. You won’t be here to save me, to bring great ships upon this shore, to bring me to those loving arms that kept me oh so safe, before I sought these lands so far… before I left my heart behind..

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